During my time at Valor, I was regularly demeaned and attacked by certain faculty members. I had a teacher lead a class discussion on what part of hell I would end up in. A staff member told my best friend to stop speaking to me if she cared about her soul. I was restricted from access to men’s athletic photos while on the yearbook team because they “couldn’t be sure” that I was using the photos for the yearbook. I had my photography removed from an art show because it was “homosexually themed” (depicted a shirtless man), despite the fact that the swim team posted all over the school were in speedos in their photos. I was prohibited from taking dates to school dances. These are examples, and don’t begin to cover assemblies in which the LGBT community was attacked, teachers who told us that transgender people were invalid and wrong, and the general culture of hostility and discrimination. This school pushed me to suicidal ideation, and it took me YEARS to recover. This has to change. WE have to change it.

The moment that I knew I was queer was in senior seminar. A respected teacher had been invited to do a Q and A on some "theological" questions. Someone asked him what his stance on homosexuality was-- were people born gay? Was it a choice? He proceeded to compare it to a disease like alcoholism-- something that some people might find harder than others to avoid, but a grave sin to be avoided nonetheless. I felt ill. I felt ashamed and disgusted because I realized, in that moment, that I was absolutely one of those people who was having a harder time "avoiding" it than others. I looked around the room and saw my peers nodding in agreement. And that was the moment I came out to myself, and it was a moment that defined "gayness" as something that people I loved absolutely hated. Something to treat. A disease. A rot in the soul. It's been almost 10 years since I graduated from Valor and I can still feel myself sitting in the senior seminar room, tears welling, mind going blank. I was just a kid, man lol. Now I’m a literal lecturer in theology at Yale University. I have an advanced degree in philosophy of religion from Yale Divinity School. I have millions of theological arguments that logically delineate why what was done at Valor Christian stands contrary to what it means to be a Christian, academically, historically, and spiritually. I have close friends who are both out and leaders and pastors in the Church. Affirming Christian friends. But I can’t enter a church without the bile rising in my throat and thinking of my time at Valor. It’s ruined my relationship with the Church, and I will be reacting to what happened at that school when I was a kid for the rest of my life

This is not a LGBTQ+ related story, but a similar situation where valor failed miserably to show love, compassion or support as they should. I became pregnant my senior year of high school at Valor. I was already terrified and shameful, but Valor increased that tenfold. Upon telling them, they decided I could still “attend” valor, but not for in person learning. I had to do valor homeschooling. They then notified (threatened) me that if they catch me (and my pregnant belly) on campus that I would immediately be removed from the premises and would no longer be educated by them.  They stated, “you understand why you cannot be on campus right? This is not the example we want for other students. Premarital sex is a sin.” After I had my beautiful daughter I was told I could now be on campus for my last semester, but my baby daughter was not allowed to be on campus at any point. I received many backhanded comments from some faculty and lots of whispers. The shame I was made to feel was unbearable and still affects me as an adult 11 years later. Valor needs to lead with love, acceptance, compassion and support to live up to their own mission statement. Students cannot be properly educated in an environment where they are made to feel unsafe.

I’ve known since middle school of my pansexuality, and I was comfortable with it. I knew coming in to Valor that it might be a struggle being in a community where it wasn’t super accepted, and I was willing to take it on. I wanted a normal high school experience with the dances and social interactions none the less. The first dance I went to I wanted to invite one of my friends from another school who happened to be a girl, and I was rejected because staff wanted to keep the dance “within the community”. I watched other people get totally random dates from totally random places and staff were totally fine with it. I avoided dances after that. I listened to countless lessons and discussions that ridicule homosexuality over the course of my four years there. I avoided people and places that were described as safe and supportive. I was so incredibly lucky to have the LGBTQ friends that I had, and I can confirm that NONE of us ever felt accepted.

I am both bisexual and transgender. My parents were abusing me for being LGBTQ. I was outed to them in my freshman year at Valor. I learned years later that multiple students and staff contacted administration because they were concerned for my well being and administration regularly responded that they were "keeping an eye on the situation" and did nothing to help me. I was called into administrator's offices multiple times. Once for holding hands with someone of the perceived same gender. Once for sitting closely with someone of the perceived same gender. There may have been other times, I'm not sure. Both times that I remember, however, the message was clear. Being gay is unacceptable. I have deep and lasting trauma as a result of Valor's treatment. I was deeply depressed and suicidal because I was hopeless. My parents' abuse included lies that no one would ever accept me and no one besides them could ever love me. And Valor made those lies seem true. I alluded to my situation to friends and teachers in the hopes that someone would help me. Valor prevented me from receiving the help I needed. I believe that a large part of the reason that Valor administration did not help me from my abusive situation was because the abuse was due to me being LGBTQ and that Valor tacitly believed that my parents were in the right.There were rumors that students could be expelled for being gay and administration did nothing to disavow those rumors. In classes we were made to discuss gay marriage, if it was "right" We discussed transgender people and whether or not they exist One teacher happily explained to us how he would go around the nation hosting talks where he and his wife would enlighten people about the "dangers" of "transgenderism". Another time a teacher shared a story of her friend's son who came out to his mother as gay and he apparently committed to never having a romantic or sexual relationship with another man. Valor was instrumental to my parents' abuse when they were legally obligated to stop it. They failed me as a school, as Christians, and as people. Valor is a huge part of the reason that I no longer identify as christian, and are glaring examples of everything wrong with Christianity.

Valor was the worst experience of my life. I wasn’t out, but I knew I was bisexual. I think I was fully indoctrinated at that time and basically just lived in full fear & denial of my attraction to women. It caused me to become really hypersexual with boys because of my fear of living my truth. I didn’t want anyone to find out I was attracted to girls, so I just went full blown in the opposite direction. And of course, because of the sexist & racist elements of Christianity… I was treated like I was disposable and unworthy and that all of my perceived hyper-sexuality was due to an issue with my character, rather than a symptom of the pain I was in. Which included being a closeted queer. The amount of times male teachers pulled me into their little offices for “spiritual check-ins” and “prayer”. Which was really just a fancy way of saying “we’re going to gaslight and shame you into compliance with the Valor way”. The women were just as bad. If not worse sometimes. Anyways, I’m fully out now and I’m happy. But I’m also 26 years old and have a ton of baggage and trauma to heal from. I’m estranged from my dad who aligns himself with Valor’s ideals. It’s hard. But I’m happy to be living my truth now.

After seeing all of those share their Valor traumas, I felt I needed to share some of mine. I had a hard time struggling with my sexuality, especially in high school where hormones are raging and you’re just trying to figure life out without completely losing it. But a school like Valor, all of that comes with a side of judgement and big helping of persecution. Judgement from faculty, students, even parents. I felt unsafe and I was forced to hide who I was for YEARS. Even after I graduated, I still struggled with anxiety and depression because of the harm they had caused. I’ve known since middle school that I like girls but because of Valor, I didn't come out till about 3 years ago. It took me an additional 6 years after graduating to finally embrace who I’ve always been, thanks to therapy and a great support group. And I’m 27 now and identify as Gay/Lesbian.

I was outed to the whole school because a student found pictures of me on tumblr, and she sent them to everyone. I was not only ostracized by students but faculty as well. Teachers felt the liberty to tell me to end my relationship and that God would never accept me. Students would make me feel uncomfortable in the halls or in class while they would stare at me and talk about the pictures.  In a senior seminar class the teacher stated that men and women were created to be together. Anything different is not of God. I was always afraid of being penalized for something I had no control of in the first place.

I’m a closeted bisexual and one of my best friends at Valor was an out lesbian. I used to be constantly berated about whether or not I was gay and consistently asked if she and I were together, like it was anyone else’s business but ours. Outside of the harassment from my peers (no one would do that if they thought you were straight), I witnessed many of my out, queer friends suffer through blatant homophobia and slander from other students and staff. I also personally sat through many religious classes where the morality of homosexuality was up for debate, even one where the teacher asked his students if, as Christians, we should put our energy into abolishing gay marriage or accepting and loving queer people, as if he didn’t know which option was more Christ-like and like abolishing gay marriage had to be an important item on every Christian’s agenda.

Many of the current and past students I'm sure know my Dad, Brian Shultz, the soccer coach. I was closeted my entire time while there because I was terrified of coming out. I heard my parents talk about gay marriage being legalized and they made their stance clear. I also knew the stance valor had on the subject and knew coming out would be disastrous especially with a father who worked their. I stayed closeted because I feared for my education, I feared for my dads job security, and I feared what they might do to me. Valor is not a safe place for LGBTQ+ people and I remember watching the few openly gay kids in my class with pride in my heart. I was so proud that they could be strong enough to withstand the hate and bullying they went through everyday just to attend that school.

As a member of Valor's first graduating class, I can tell you that their treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals has been like this since the beginning. My sophomore year (Valor's opening year) I came out as bisexual to a trusted friend in my Intro to Theater class, believing that I had found a safe space as many kids find in theater communities. Unsurprisingly, news of my sexuality began to spread throughout the student body and eventually to the staff/faculty. Once the higher ups had learned of this, I was pulled into the office of then Dean Jeff Gardella with Pastor/Teacher Jim Kirschner and my parents and shamed and admonished for who I was. The school decided in conjunction with my parents that I should attend conversion classes. This process involved me attending seminars at churches where I got to listen to men talk about how God had turned them away from the evils of homosexuality and made them love women, as the bible intended. These classes didn't take. I also received the standard biblical arguments against the LGBTQ+ community throughout my time at the school. Luckily, there were a few instructors who were very kind to me and allowed me to be who I was. Here I am now, a 29 year old pansexual male. I love who I am and I love all of you.

I have a few: a kid walked through the hallways with a wig and he was yelling trans for Trump during election week. Teachers very clearly heard and did nothing about it. I called a kid out for saying the f slur repeatedly in class and he said what? I am a f**! Once again teachers did nothing about it even though he said it loud. A kid hung up a sign saying I hate the gays outside our Bible classroom and it was only taken down because the substitute thought it said something else inappropriate not related to the LGBTQ community. And just all the time in the hallways this culture of non acceptance is taught I’ve heard “guys I literally promise I’m not a lesbian like ew.” And “I mean think about it they’re probably all around us

I am currently a closeted Queer Gender fluid person who attends valor and am most days scared to even try to present my anything other then my assigned gender at birth in fear of being judged or worse and have often heard staff purposely try to misuse what being trans is and push the narrative that we want to change everyone even tho we only want to feel comfortable in out own bodies. Along with that I have heard a bible teacher comment, that if someone who was AMAB were to say like feminine thing at a young age he would try to "Fix them" and wanted to "Teach them the correct way". Along with teachers trying to push the narrative that people who want to be trans are the same as people trying to change races. along with students which staff didn't say anything to after saying that the being queer is "an abomination" and purposely saying that trans people only do it for attention

I'm an openly trans male, or I was before Valor found out. They told me I had to either present as male or leave the school.

I am a gay, non-binary student. I've been pretty quiet about it till recently but even then I’ve seen my fair share or horrible things said. One time freshman year I was walking through the hall when I heard kids talking about the only openly gay kid I knew about at that time. They said they couldn’t “wait for that twink to leave” And that they hoped he wouldn’t be there next year. Sophomore year I came out to someone close to me at the school. She said she didn’t support me and didn’t even want to hear about anything romantic. A couple days later she asked to meet for lunch and proceeded to lecture me with Bible in hand about how I needed to become straight and that I might even be demon possessed. I've been outed, told I'm a sinner countless times, and the last time I heard a slur about an lgbt kid at the school? Today. I would be lying if I said valor was all bad. I've met many amazing teachers and students who are highly supportive, but I’d also be lying if I said homophobia isn’t baked into the culture of the school.

Hi so I’m a closeted bisexual (current student at Valor). My freshman year I went to my freshman seminar teacher to simply ask her an educational question about why christians are so mean and hateful towards the LGBTQ+ community. She basically gave me an argument about how you can still like people without supporting what they do and she literally told me “God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve

I was in a religion class at valor my senior year and during the class one day the topic was about how gay people go to hell and how they are wrong and sinful etc. I started off with a tear streaming down my face then it got even worse and I started to sob silently at the back of the class because I have a brother of the lgbtq community and it broke my heart that I had to sit there and listen to all of that. The teacher even saw me sobbing and did nothing about it and felt no remorse and didn’t even come up to me after class. I then went to someone in higher power and told him the whole story and asked why they have to teach that and how wrong it is to teach that and he basically told me to get over it because it’s a private school and they can do and teach whatever they want. He then transferred me to another class🤦🏽‍♀️

When I was at Valor, I remember every other high school having boys be their cheer leaders for powderpuff. I was super excited about this and having my guy friends be able to cheer for us as girls for once. I was super shocked to hear that Valor had a rule against any male cheerleaders for powderpuff because, as they stated, it “promoted homosexuality”. Many people I knew closely during these important and transformative years of life struggled significantly in terms of mental health knowing that being open about their sexuality would lead to them both being denied and ostracized while attending Valor. To hear that these things are still going on is incredibly saddening and I think Valor needs a wake up call on how detrimental these rhetorics can be on high school aged teens and anyone in the lives of these people in general.

I was deeply afraid to be myself during my time at Valor. In every bible class I was ever in they spoke about how being LGBTQ+ was wrong which made me feel like a complete outcast. I felt so different from everyone and I had nobody to turn to. Everyday I carried fear and anxiety that I would be kicked out and would not be able to graduate. I was getting paranoid that people would find out so I went to a teacher I had trusted. I opened up about what I had been experiencing. She told me it was not God’s best and that same sex relationships were not meant to work. I am not sure if she ever told anyone but it pushed me right back into the closest. My experience with Valor is one of the reasons I do the work that I do today. I help thousands of LGBTQ+ adults all over the world feel comfortable and confident in who they are. I never want anyone to experience what I experienced as I figured out what it meant to be me.

While I was at Valor, a girl was kicked off the cheer team for kissing a girl on a dare at a party…the staff heard about it through the rumor mill, brought both of them in separately, interrogated them and forced a confession. One girl told the truth so she was allowed to stay on the team, but the other lied about it out of fear and was kicked off the team. That same year, their star football player had a foursome and filmed it with another valor football player and neither were kicked off the team or even suspended for a game. The double standard for these issues is unbelievable.  Valor worships one god above their God, and it’s state championships. If you’re good at sports and straight, you can do whatever you want.

The girl kicked of the cheer team was me!! Yes, I did lie in the office when I was first asked, because a Valor administration member was berating me in his office about my “sinful nature”, while my mother was (wrongfully) in tears because she thought I was a lesbian. I truly believe, however, I was kicked off because my parents could not properly advocate for me. Unlike the other girls’ families, my parents’ are not college educated. One was working at McDonalds at the time and the other was babysitting children. We were barely making ends meet and the school consistently went out of their way to humiliate me and my parents and hold a scholarship over my head.  I approached the administration about this a few months ago when I moved back to Colorado to begin medical school. I shared these stories and asked how I could be part of improving the experience for students of color and of lower socioeconomic status. I was completely dismissed. He actually had the courage to tell me a story of a student whose single mother lost her job last summer and so he had to spend every free moment he had working in fast food restaurants to pay the school. Sickening!! Truly sickening. The discrimination at this school transcends all levels - gender, sexuality, race, socioeconomic status. They must be stopped. I should also add that in addition to being kicked off, I also had to attend several lectures with faculty members to discuss my sinful nature and how things like “reading cosmo magazine” were contributing to my promiscuous behavior. Truly has taken me years of therapy to recover.

When I was at Valor I was completely in the closet, both when it came to my sexuality as well as my gender. I never faced any outright hate or discrimination because of this, but the overall culture and environment caused me to feel overwhelmingly ashamed of who I was and powerless to speak up for myself, and there are many moments from my time at Valor that stick with me to this day. I remember sitting in the library and overhearing a student explain to others why being gay was disgusting and a sin. I remember getting my senior yearbook photo and feeling absolutely crushed knowing I wasn't allowed to speak up about the gender prescribed outfit choices. I remember being in Europe on a Discovery trip when the supreme court ruled to legalize gay marriage, and walking past the US embassy to see rainbow flags, and feeling so hopeful that maybe things were finally getting better. That is until I heard another student loudly proclaim "why do they have to rub it in our faces like that!" and that hopeful feeling crashed down around me. These are only a few examples of small things I experienced, and throughout all this I also heard stories of all the things said to, about, and around my fellow LGBT+ students, and throughout it all, I was terrified of anyone finding out I was queer because I knew how much worse things would get if they did. Valor claims to prepare its students for college and for life afterward, but I left Valor feeling the opposite of prepared. I felt confused, lost, and ashamed, and it took me forever to even understand and accept myself, let alone believe anyone else ever would. Just because we haven't seen or heard of many acts of outright discrimination and bigotry from Valor, doesn't mean they weren't happening. And it doesn't mean it's ever been a safe or welcoming place for LGBT+ youth. In fact, I'd argue it's always been the opposite.

My junior year I was called into the dean’s office with my parents. At the time, only one person knew about the struggles that I was going through trying to figure out my sexuality. All I remember is the dean asking me if I had anything I wanted to tell my parents. I said no. She turned to my parents and said “are you aware your daughter is having gay feelings?” The rest is a blur. I wasn’t even out to myself at this point, and this only set me back further. That year, I applied to two discovery trips. After receiving the email that I had been accepted to the Cuba trip, I received one regretting to inform me that I had not been offered a spot. I continued to receive all the team emails for the Cuba trip despite being kicked off the team. Terry Adams apparently heard what was going on at that time and didn’t want me on a team. In Bible class, we were talking about homosexuality being a sin. I told the teacher how one of my mom’s friend’s daughters was suicidal for years until she came out as gay. He said something along the lines of “okay, so just because it makes her happy it’s okay?” When I tried to buy two prom tickets, I was told I couldn’t because they knew I would bring another girl. My group tried to bring her as someone else’s date, but we ended up just not going.

During senior Bible we had a discussion on human sexuality and the Bible. I was starting to grow confident in my sexuality as a gay man and was considering coming out to some people at school. But during the discussion it was frequently brought up that sexuality was a choice, and as such, people who willingly chose homosexuality (among others) were abandoning God and thus choosing the devil. This was met with approval from quite a few classmates, and the teacher leading the discussion did nothing to counter this or assure students that the class was a safe place regardless of the discussion. It perpetuated that Valor was not a safe environment for my true self and thus I kept my sexuality hidden until I graduated, after which I was promptly cut off from most faculty members and alumni as they expressed disapproval of my “decision to embrace that lifestyle”. I am very grateful for the few people I still keep in touch with from my graduating class of ‘19 that show me God’s love.

Before college, my education was exclusively shaped by the church. I can’t blame everything on Valor, but they disseminate a problematic breed of conservative dogma that has wounded so many of my close relationships. In the formative years when we should be taught to be allies, Valor allowed students and faculty to spout hate speech under the guise of biblical teaching. I distinctly remember a Bible teacher’s “research-based” lecture about how all non-cis people are just mentally ill. He, of course, cited his reference material, which were websites of homophobic Christian lobbying groups. People like him imposed a deep fear, confusion, and disapproval for the LGBTQ+ community in me. I treated closeted and out friends like shit, and distrusted partners who were out. The type of hatred Valor teaches led me to irreparably damage my relationships with the people I love the most. It’s taken a lot of work to undo the conditioning I’d received from the church apparatus, and at nearly 22, I’m struggling with my sexual identity.

During my last week of school I was told that I should save my soul and stop being friends with my best friend because of his sexuality. I was also told that I should try to guide him back in the “right” (straight) direction in order to save his soul. I was heartbroken that I was spoken to about this matter in such a harsh manner. I was taken aback that someone who was supposed to be an educator felt the need to tell me who to be friends with based on his sexuality.

This may not regard LGBTQ issues but it does highlight the treatment and inappropriate conduct that is displayed by deans and faculty- after countless times of being brought in to discuss my parents divorce and me stating i did not want to talk about it, The female dean invited a male dean to the conversation where they both starting insinuating that infidelity is genetic and i was to pray with them and disclose all relationships with them so I wouldn’t fall victim to being a cheater.

My freshman year at Valor, I was trying to discover more and more of who I was. I was having mixed feelings about my sexuality and deep down I knew I wasn’t heterosexual. During this fragile time, I was part of a freshman Bible class. This class was meant to be a class that went through the entirety of the Bible, making sure we had a good basis of what was inside of it. There was one class I remember that all of the students were sitting in a circle and we began discussing homosexuality. My Bible teacher told us about one of his gay cousins and how he had to make the “sacrifice” to not speak to him because his cousin would be going to hell and he needed to make sure to separate himself from that sin. That conversation and class period shook me to my core. I decided that I couldn’t be gay, it had to be a mistake. I spent the next four years battling myself on who I was, because day after day there was some reminder of Valor’s bigotry and hatred towards those in the lgbtq community. I was lucky to have found a group that was supportive of me and wanted to help me find out who I was, but Valor Christian continues to be an unsafe place for members of the community. I watched for years and stood silently as I witnessed how Valor treated their students, but after being inspired by Inoke Tonga I think it’s important that past alumni or faculty share their stories so that we can hold Valor responsible for their actions and inspire change in this broken community.

I was on the Valor swim team and absolutely loved it. After practice we would all go rinse off in the showers together (swimsuits on of course). We would be laughing and dancing and having fun the way we always did together. There was never any problem with it. My junior year rolls around and we got all the freshman swimmers with us. There was a freshman who was on the team and she came out as lesbian to a few of the girls, and of course it spread through the whole team within a day. Immediately she was talked down to, ignored, avoided, and many other things. After practice she got in a shower with another one of the girls on the team (swim suites on) and someone brought it up to the coach how it was inappropriate because she’s lesbian. She was brought in for a meeting and was then kicked off the swim team. Over doing something we all did everyday after practice. I was so saddened when I heard this and the bond and respect I carried for my swim “sisters” was gone. Valor preaches in the importance of family, brotherhood, sisterhood, until someone shows their true selves. If your true self isn’t what they want they try to change you “in Jesus name.” Last I checked Jesus wasn’t with the rich, he wasn’t with the people who had an over abundance of things or money. He was with those who were hurting, those who were fighting, those who lived true to who they are through him. And I believe with my whole heart that while Valor continues to hurt those, and break down the hearts of people who are true to themselves, Christ is on their sides. Christ will fight for those who are fighting for who they are. Christ will fight for those broken because of what they’ve been told for being the person HE MADE THEM TO BE!

I was horrendously bullied and tortured and sent threats. They sat the people down in front of me, told me how amazing they were, and refused to help me. I haven't had to deal with homophobia directly but I have dealt with a lot of trauma and belittling from valor and it breaks my heart that it keeps happening to other people. I have experienced slut shaming in chapels, the halls, conferences, and much more. they will only deal with issues that bring them money or good publicity and they will turn a blind eye on any students or staff who are being hurt by the very things they preach.

I discovered my sexuality within the first few weeks of my junior year. When I told my best friend that he was the reason I realized my sexuality, he stopped talking to me. It completely destroyed me and I felt like I had no where to go for help. I couldn’t trust any of the faculty at Valor for guidance because I felt like it would paint a target on my back as one of the queer kids to give trouble to. A few teachers noticed that something was off and asked if I was alright, but it quickly became clear they cared more that it was affecting my schoolwork. They said I could tell them anything, but from stories I’d heard and from things that I’d seen, I knew that I couldn’t trust them. So many religious classes drilled into my head that who I am was wrong and that I was designed for hell. The greatest thing that Valor taught me was how to hate myself and that God didn’t love me. It took me years to finally relearn that I am not the monster that they built me up to be.

I think it is important to mention how on the senior retreat for the class of 2021, one of the speakers was giving the typical, “my life was hard and Jesus made it better” speeches, and she thought it pertinent to note that one “hardship” she experienced was her friend coming out to her as gay, and “having to cut her off” and out of her life. I won’t ever forget that.

I was told by at least half a dozen staff members that ultimately, being queer was a choice that could be prayed away. I also heard at different points in my time there that being trans and/or non-binary was an active choice that person made, and staff members heavily implied, if not outright claimed, it was a choice one would make for attention. (Thank GOD I never believed any of this.) I’m a bisexual woman, but I didn’t realize that until college because when I raised questions about being attracted to girls as well as guys (AKA the very definition of bisexuality) at Valor, I was dismissed for simply “appreciating beauty.” I don’t want to pretend for a second that my experience was even half as traumatizing as some of my classmates’, but this messaging should not exist within any institution, let alone one which claims to love God. Loving thy neighbor – no matter who they are – is a command, not a suggestion, and it’s massively disheartening to know our high school is still perpetuating hate in the name of a God whose love is quite literally inexhaustible.

Valor is one of the reasons why I deterred from Christianity and the church. I remember specifically in history class there was a discussion (definitely wasn’t) on whether gay people go to heaven or hell. And I remember a student standing up and loudly stating all gays go to hell. I just crumbled inside as I was 17 and closeted. Later on I found out someone disclosed my sexuality to some teachers and parents. My mom sat me down and basically said I couldn’t talk or bring it up at school.

I graduated in 2019 and I remember in government class we did a mock trial involving the supreme court case with the bakery and the gay couple and when the teacher assigned who had to do the arguments in support of the couple, the kid straight up said “just so everyone knows I don’t support being gay” and kept making homophobic comments and then the opposing side proceeded to use arguments like “being gay is a choice” and the teacher did nothing about it. I remember feeling sick to my stomach thinking about how alone and afraid anyone in the LGBTQ+ community must have felt.

I am incredibly lucky. I discovered and accepted my sexuality my junior year at Valor. I never once felt uncomfortable being out. Upon reflection, i think that came from a combination of having a solid support system full of other LGBTQ+ students as well as an unfortunate level of assumptions from adults that bisexuality doesn’t exist and I would eventually “find my way” to being with a man. At one point, my girlfriend at the time and I were called into a meeting with a discovery team leader who was supportive and kind and let us know we would be held to the same standard as a straight couple on the trip. I am incredibly grateful to this teacher, and absolutely appalled to know that this was not normal. So many students were not as fortunate as me. My identity was often invalidated, but it kept me safer than other students, and that is not okay. Ignorance cannot continue to win. Valor needs to value their student’s and employee’s safety and joy more than they value saving face.

Starting my freshman year at Valor my Bible teacher told my class that God didn’t want people to be gay because “He didn’t want people to get AIDS”. This homophobic narrative was continued throughout my time at Valor with teachers claiming it was a “trendy way to get attention” and that their condemnation of members of the LQBTQ+ community was “from a place of love”. This caused me and several others I know to struggle with the belief that if someone is being abusive to me, it is because they love me and I need to look past all the ways they are degrading me and hurting me, because they claim to love me. And that is something I still struggle with. Years after graduating, I still can’t come to terms with my sexuality because I was told for so long that it’s just a way to get attention, and I actually believed it and I still struggle with that. The damage that the conservative evangelical “Christian” ideas that valor teaches are training students to hate people “out of love"

As another valor alum I also witnessed the valor culture that shows hatred towards the lgbtq community. I myself am not a member of the lgbtq community however as someone who supports those a part of the community i feel my story is important. Being close friends with many queer individuals I was even pulled onto the witness stand. On multiple occasions I was called into a coaches or deans office and asked if a certain individual I was friends with identified as part of the lgbtq community. I also had a very close friend who was outed by valor students because they thought it was funny and I hope those girls know that my friend succumbed to an even more difficult home life because of their careless actions. Valor Christian has done many good things for its students over the years but displaying love to all and respecting individuals privacy is not something I witnessed while I went here.

I had a teacher I was close to. He coached me freshman year of volleyball and I took 3 of his classes. During my senior seminar class he taught a lesson about how being gay is a sin and it’s a choice. People that to be gay are purposefully living on sin and away from God, and that they have the power to choose to be straight. I ran out of the room crying because a teacher I had looked up to had ruined our relationship. I was outed during our senior retreat. During the open mic night another student outed me in front of the senior class as well as faculty and staff. Because of the culture Valor created I was afraid of facing punishment from the administration and that it would effect my ability to graduate. I was nervous going to prom and homecoming with a girl. I never  had a class where teachers said anything affirming about queer people. The students for the most part were not hostile, but the administration definitely made me and other queer students feel like we could not be ourselves.

I am not part of the LGBTQ+ community but most of my friends are. They are some of the most wonderful people I know but I would constantly see people directing the d slur towards them. Sometimes me too because if I hang out with people in the LGBTQ+ community then OBVIOUSLY I must be a lesbian (cause that’s how friendship works). It hurt me to see my friends constantly belittled. I am a very vocal person and I don’t hold back my thoughts so anytime I always spoke up for my friends. Some people don’t though. One of my teachers heard someone say the n-word and immediately reprimanded them; however, when they heard someone say the f-slur in class they said nothing and laughed it off. There are a few teachers (who I at least hope are still at valor) that I know are accepting of those in the LGBTQ+ community. I hope everyone at Valor finds a mentor that accepts them

Growing up in a Christian household, I already was taught that homosexuality was a sin. When I continued to hear the same and even more intense narrative at Valor, I knew that I could never feel comfortable to talk about my bisexuality with family, friends, teachers, coaches, and staff. I have a sibling who also attended Valor and felt the same way, except that they were almost outed at a meeting with a staff member. In addition to struggling with sexuality, I can recount countless chapels, announcements, and Bible classes that made students feel ashamed about what they wore, their choices with their partners, and other related topics. I wish that someone would have spoken up. I wish that there would be a culture shift. I wish that the people who are standing up now see change and don’t get punished for using their voice and their rights.

My sophomore year was my first at Valor. I was always very quiet and unnoticed, the best I can think to describe it is invisible, because I was an “unpopular” kid who didn’t stray from the social norm of my peers. Slowly but surely I struggled with discovering myself, dealing with the turmoil of what I had always been taught and had known to be true: Gay people cannot be Christians/ they will burn in hell. Well, it seems God has a bit of a sense of humor because lo and behold, I began to question my own sexuality and grow to hate myself for becoming something so horrible and sinful. They way that I know being gay is not a choice is because of how hard I fought and yearned to be “normal”. Anyways, my invisibility started to fade as I grew and explored dressing and acting the way I wanted, not the way I thought others wanted to see me. I did have good friends and people who would support me down the road, but when I say my invisibility went away, I mean that I noticed the negative attention I started to receive. I had my first girlfriend in my junior year, which instantly became the talk of the town as I didn’t want to work at hiding my relationship. I STILL find out more things that were said about me. I have been in multiple class settings with homophobic teachings, rude comments, and horrible arguments as to why heterosexual AND reproductive relationships are the only right way to live.

Unfortunately I have come to be ashamed of the school I graduated from. Valor pushed me away from Christianity because of its treatment of many individuals at the school. From the LGBTQ+ community, to the harsh dress code, and unequal treatment of the women in the schools system. Bisexuality was treated as a grab for attention, or worse as a “way young women try to grab the attention of the boys they had crushes on”. And any sexuality that wasn’t identified as “what God intended” was treated as needing correction. Women were not permitted to be sexual creatures in any capacity, and those in the LGBTQ+ community were expected to be celibate. Many were alienated and pushed to be ashamed of who they were. No child should ever have to cope with such injustice and mistreatment. God should not be weaponized to push political agendas. Jesus loves all.

I am a bi alum who spent all four years at valor being told I was either too tempting for boys to treat me respectfully or that I was evil for liking girls.  Freshman year I got injured and I was so depressed. One of my best friends, though, always made an effort to do my physical therapy and homework with me. Over the course of a few months I fell in love with her, but my father was homophobic and abusive already so I tried to keep it to myself. I don't know how anyone even found out about it, but I remember being compared to Satan for loving her... When our friend group hung out I wasn't allowed to go and the only times I could see her was when we were sure there wasn't going to be anyone around. After she graduated people would make jokes that I was a lesbian, among other things. I always laughed along because I knew there wasn't a safe space for me. Even after leaving Valor I have been made to feel like I shouldn't say anything because the school "gave me so much."

Valor staff are a bunch of hypocrites. It’s funny what they let slide based on who is committing the sin. Aka if your parents are funding the school, you’re off the hook. Valor is a perfect example of why people don’t like Christians. A lesbian coach is probably less of a threat to the students than most of the “straight” male leaders at that school. Such a joke.